I woke up this morning and had high hopes that I would find some motivation to clean and organize my house. My bedroom is looking especially awesome with several piles of laundry calling my name. So of course I am sitting here with my second cup of coffee waiting for my laundry to learn a new name..like my husband's. One can dream, right?

Sometimes you simply have to accept that life will hand you things other than lemons and you will have to make what you will of it. When you have children, you learn that more often than not, whatever you are handed will likely be stinky, sticky and occasionally if you are lucky, just a used Kleenex or something easily identifiable and safely wrapped. Hahaha...I keed. Most likely it will not be wrapped well, and you will get whatever it is on your hands.

I have come to terms that some of my furniture will have a random princess stickers. Some places on the carpet will always look slightly blue and sparkly. Some days, I will be excited that the house only kind of smells like wet dog and mostly like Febreeze. Other days I will have to spend countless hours wondering what 'that smell is' and more countless hours finding the source and getting rid of it. Finally, I have to accept that 'the smell' lives here and hopefully a bath will help.

Obviously I am not the best blogger. I am going for every January. So sue me. I did have something interesting to talk about so I'll be getting to that now.

On November 29, 2011, my husband and I experienced the miracle of life for the second time and welcomed little man, Brian P. Washington Jr., aka Patrick, into the world. As we have been adjusting to having multiple children in our house, including the lack of sleep, increased toddler tantrums, and the return of diapers into our home, I have been fighting the ever present thoughts of whether or not we are performing our parenting jobs to the best of our ability. Every parent I have ever met has come across this issue at one point or another. Wondering if you are doing things right, reading crazy research articles to see if you are feeding your newborn at the best possible angle to prevent ear aches, to reading other friends blogs and Facebook posts and noting that THEIR 3 year old can write their name in crayon while yours is still eating them...and dog food. This issue has been researched and discussed hundreds of times. How parents compare and worry about their parenting skills, and judge others accordingly is practically an American tradition.

Well, today I read an article that made me realize some things that I wish more people would think about, too. The story focused on the quality of CPS investigations, and how sometimes the children that are supposed to be being protected are still suffering and dying because of faulty paperwork, incompetent social workers, etc. It really is a sad story, but what it really made me think about besides the sad fate of many children in our world, is that while I may not be parent of the year, I have nothing to worry about when it comes to my parenting skills, or my ability to love my children.

Yes, many nights I have been too tired to read my 3 year old a story. I have skipped a tooth brushing because she fell asleep on the couch and I was not about to wake her. I let her sleep on the couch. I've fed her chicken nuggets or a brownie or both for meals more times than I care to admit, and I've lain awake for what seems like hours (probably 5 or so minutes) listening to my newborn cry and hoping they will just fall back asleep so I don't have to get up for the third time that night to feed him. I've done likely hundreds of parenting book 'no nos' and I will likely do many more. What I am starting to accept is that doing these things does not make me a bad parent or even a bad person. It just makes me imperfect. Human and very normal. I think what is not normal are the people that don't take this very true fact into consideration when they look at parents, good parents that are feeding, loving and caring for their children the best that they can and then try to pass judgment on them. This is especially to be noted by the parents that spend way too much time judging themselves.

Child abuse is a very serious problem in our world, and I am not trying to detract from that. I am just using that example to show the very drastic difference between hurting a child and letting them watch too much TV or if you are trying to sleep train them with the controversial 'crying it out' method. Try to remember this, parents, as you are letting your toddler cry themselves to sleep in their crib with clean sheets, holding their favorite blankie. The child that has a full belly of what might be goldfish and koolaid, but they are fed and warm and very lucky to have you. You are doing your best and you should be proud of yourself for it.

Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Today I feel like poo. I fell asleep in my clothes on the couch last night. I was awakened by a sniffling two year old at about 4:30 A.M. who wanted mommy to 'hold you'. We cuddled for about 10 minutes before I gave up my couch to her and slept on the floor, using random baby doll blankies and stuffed animals for bedding. I woke up again at 7:30 with a Mardi Gras necklace stuck to my face and hobbled over to my computer to start working.
It is almost noon, and I still haven't showered or eaten anything. I am just sitting here trying to focus on work, and waiting for the new system to load each thing I update. Takes about 2 minutes between entries. Great fun. Obviously I am sick. I know I need to eat, shower, and take some sort of meds to make myself start feeling better...but I am just too tired to care. I did good getting a pot of coffee started and dressing my child to go to day care. Thank God Brian was around to take her, or she might still be sitting here in her backwards shirt and no pants. He fixed that, too. I miss being able to BE sick and 'enjoy' it by laying on the couch and having my mom bring me cracker and 7 up with a straw. :(
I think I'll move to Australia.

It's not easy, being green

I have noticed that most of the people that are concerned about the 'green' movement and are pushing people towards fuel efficient cars and and buying expensive organic foods are the ultra rich. I get the feeling that these people have so much money and time that they have to find something to worry about. Then, they want to make it my problem. I am sorry, but I have enough problems without feeling like it is my job to save the world, too! I want some of these celebrities to call me when they lose their millions and actually have to grocery shop on a budget of $200 and tell me how many $10 lightbulbs they can afford and whether they are going to buy eggos for $2 a box to feed their kids, or if they are still going to buy organic produce. Now politicians are talking about raising taxes on natural gas, coal and oil to promote Greener lifestyles...that will go over well. If only I could aford to put in a more efficient hot water heater...oh, wait. I live in an apartment. What exactly would you like me to do to make my home Greener? I guess I could go around and unplug all my appliances..sigh. I think that our world will greatly benefit from recycling and trying to create less waste, but when being Green becomes more cost effective, I will be able to participate more. Now please quit preaching to me!

Hollywood goes green...

Wondering....

Sometimes I feel like in this day and age, it is taboo for a woman to admit that that they just want to be a wife and mother. Past generations told women that that was all they could ever want or expect to be. And then, I feel like my generation and future ones expect all women to want to have a career and to plan their lives in such a way that a traditional family and life has to be put on hold until they had accomplished something. I am not saying that women who have and want to do this are not right in doing so. I think it is wonderful that women have the opportunity to do anything they would dream of. I guess I am just trying to figure out when it stopped being OK for a girl to say she wants to grow up to get married, and have a baby. That sounds so trashy doesn't it? As if a girl should never admit that she would be content with that. I think it is sad that women who are willing to stay home and care for their families are no longer considered a valued part of our society. I even catch myself making fun of those women that do stay home. It is as if my brain is trained to think that they are less because they can and/or want to be home with their kids instead of working. Lets not forget, these people are working for free for 24 hours a day, doing menial tasks like diaper changing and cleaning toilets in between parenting. Yet, there are some people that want to do this. Shouldn't they be considered valuable, instead of being looked at as less of a person?

If being a stay at home parent were a lucrative career choice, would that be more valued and viewed as as a desirable life choice like being a doctor or lawyer? Most career choices are valued by how much time and work it involves to get there. Actually, many families DO have to work hard to allow one parent to be home with their children. Sacrifices have to be made.

Some people are not in a position to be a stay at home parent. Some families are not financially able to have a parent stay home. For most single moms and dads this option does not even exist, but what is wrong with WANTING that? That is what I am asking. Also, I think a big reason I am asking this question is because I am one of those people that are stuck in a place where this is not an option. For a lot of wives and mothers out there, including myself, we are burdened with the responsibilities of jobs outside the home and the majority of the work IN our homes. There is usually not a clear cut example of what is expected of us at home, but many of us put extra responsibilities on ourselves, and are then overwhelmed by them. As a society, how many husbands do we hear complaining because they do all the housework and don’t get enough help with the kids when their wives get home from work? Exactly. I’m sure they exist, but I can’t think of very many. Gender roles are defined very early in life, and once we take them on, it seems like we are stuck with them, even when we add extra things to our lives, such as jobs and community activities.

On a side note, I also believe stay at home dads are equally looked at in a negative light, which is ridiculous. If that is what works for their family, then don't judge. I didn't want to make this come across as if they don't exist, because I know they do!

My Wedding

I am going to be getting Married on September 2, 2007. :) I am starting this blog to track some of those things so I can share my ideas and track my progress as I plan.